Goals, Almond Butter & The Color Pink

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Okay so let’s recap. I officially have 7 days of Whole Life Challenge left. Crunch time, because I want to see some decent results! (I know it’s only 30 days, but little results matter) I’m going to keep it as CLEAN as possible. I’ve been measuring my body and am hoping for some loss in inches. I’ve felt great at Crossfit, and I see some decent muscle tone! And strange veins that I’ve never seen before. I just hope the vein thing is normal… Anywho. I have finally succeeded at upping my cardio, which always seems to help me. Some people believe that cardio is not the way to go, but I look and feel better when it comes into my life more than once a week. Last week I did a two, three, and four mile run. Not to mention we did “Nancy” last week.

“Nancy”
6 rounds for time of:
400m Run
15 OH Squats (95/65)

I was proud to say I did all of the overhead squats unbroken, but unfortunately my speed ruins every opportunity for a decent PR in those kinds of WODs. I am desperately trying to get faster. Last year, before I was very into Crossfit, I would do tabata drills on the treadmill. I decreased my 5K time by five minutes in a few short weeks and it prepared me for the half marathon races. Without the constant cardio my speed has decreased so much that it doesn’t even feel right saying the word speed when discussing me running. Speed, running, and Stefani, three things that don’t match up. I ran 5.4 miles on Monday, it took me an hour. I was just glad to finally run more than 3 miles again. It felt amazing. Hopefully I’ll keep increasing my cardio and get back to the tabata drills! They seriously work!
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Boom. So glad that’s planned out. More goals; continue Whole Life Challenge until I get to school. There’s no reason why I can’t make it another three weeks, and I know once I get back to school I’ll be too excited to celebrate my 21st birthday to stop myself from having a few drinks and a celebratory cupcake. Guilty! It’s happening. I deserve it.
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Roots & Costco also had some serious sales. I stocked up on Coconut Water, coconut oil, and Vitamin D & Protein Powder to take back to school.
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I was looking for a protein powder to make smoothies with and this one is perfect! It has great fiber and digestive enzymes in it. Stevia is added. I also bought this amazing almond butter;
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This was seven freakin dollars at Costco. They are huge, I bought two. I usually am an idiot and pay twelve dollars for other brands but even those jars are smaller than this. The ingredients is perfect, aka only almonds. The problem is I was supposed to be limiting almond butter. I hadn’t had it in three weeks, and all the sudden I’ve had it four times in two days. Shit…Now that I say that I realize that’s bad. So basically after I had almond butter & banana tonight I realized I needed to get rid of it before I consumed the whole jar. I told my mom to hide it somewhere I couldn’t find it… pathetic, but necessary.
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I did a lot of shopping this week. And it’s only Tuesday. I went to Walgreens with the intentions of buying a three dollar pumice stone. Next thing you know I’m walking out with a stupid amount of items from that stupid little drug store. I bought a pumice stone, a crock pot, a pill box & hair dye (two items I can’t explain), two packs of my probiotic, a lotion set, mouthwash… and band aids. Pink band aids. Dammit. Why do I keep buying pink things? I’m in need of some more Wednesdays…
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I went to Marshalls to do some returns and bought a pink dress, and wedges with pink in them. I found a gift card from Forever 21 in my room. Not sure where my mind was when I purchased another pink maxi dress. I also bought pink lip gloss. If I say pink one more time, you have my permission to stop reading my blog.
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On Tuesdays I buy pink dresses. On Wednesdays, I return pink dresses.

My beautifully Paleo lunch:
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7 oz Chicken
5 oz Sweet Potato
1 cup Collard Greens and Onions

Yum.

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My Relationship with Breakfast part 2

Just another post with my favorite healthy, clean, protein packed breakfasts. Starting the day right is so important. I’m gonna need fuel before I’m off to another city for the day, and I’m not talkin’ Sunoco. I’d tell you where I’m going…but I’m surprising someone so it’d ruin the whole thing.
Edit// This post was old and not finished in time to post it. Therefore… I went to Philly to visit my cousin , Jayme, to celebrate her birthday with her. Happy Birthday ya old fart!
I’m really bad at surprising people. My face gives everything away at all times and I’m really bad at holding back that “I know something you don’t know” grin. I’ve always wanted a surprise party…but I’m not that good at receiving things. Do you know what I mean? Like on Christmas when you’re sitting around with your family and everyone’s eyes are on you while you open a gift. You are prepared to throw your arms in the air and make it seem like you couldn’t have gone on any longer without that (probably very thoughtful) gift you just received. So maybe that makes me seem ungrateful, it’s not even close to that. Sometimes it seems like the casual “Oh I love it, Thank You!” is enough. There’s always that long stare after you tell people how much you like their gift, as if they expect you to be lying. I want people to know how much I appreciate their gifts. I want to be able to say just that, without the response from the giver being “You hate it, I’ll return it”. Nope…pretty sure I just said I loved it, did you want me to cry and get on my knees? It happens every Christmas morning. There’s always that one thing that my mom comes and grabs out of my hands mid sentence because she’s so worried that I don’t like it. I was even surprised she didn’t rip the puppy they got us for Christmas out of our hands. (How could you hate a dog?!) All in all, it’s heartwarming, and hilarious, and a little frustrating. Even if I did hate it, even if it was an umbrella with a bunch of race cars on it, it’s the thought that counts. My mom’s a crazy Italian women anyway, frustration is the core of our relationship. One second we’ll be talking the next we’ll be yelling, the men in our household will bare arms, and then we’ll laugh about something and everything will be back to normal. As normal as normal can be. All in the matter of seconds. Italians have short tempers, we jump on things. We barely listen, only to have things repeated 50 times throughout the day. I got a lot of this from my mothers side, even my mother has rubbed off on my dad. He’s also started to ignore my mother and I if we are “yelling”. He knows better. We’re just talking.
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My mother and I, yelling.
So now that I rambled, I think its time to start talking about my main topic of this post. Of course I thought I was going to do a quick breakfast post, but I start writing and things pop in my head and I find it hard to stop. There’s always a part of me that wishes I went to school for creative writing, journalism, something along those lines. Okay I’m getting off topic again, no one wants to hear my regrets about what I’m studying in school.
Breakfast
As I already talked about in a previous post. I have a serious love for breakfast. Don’t we all? I mean, pancakes, waffles, syrup, oatmeal. You can get peanut butter involved. And, friggin, bacon. But none of that is currently on my menu. I can’t even tell you the last time I had one of those amazing diner pancake breakfasts. Thank you gluten intolerance, the dog days are officially over. RIP:
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Once I lose some body fat percentage, I will probably make delicious pancakes again, every now and then. I’m thinking Sunday brunch at school. After a long week of drinking studying and crossfit reading. The perfect sunday breakfast. I make some amazing, clean, and healthy pancakes too. Sweet potato pancakes with homemade raspberry syrup, protein pancakes, the list goes on. Coming soon people, you can put your tongues back in your mouth. But for now its real food for breakfast.
These last two weeks of whole life challenge I’m doing absolutely no fruit or nuts. Too many people have told me they had great fat loss success after cutting out fruit so, I’m giving it a go. (Edit/ not giving that a go, that leaves me with too little on the menu…back to limiting) The day before I decided that I made a kale digestion smoothie. I read everywhere that pineapple and ginger are a great aid in digestion, and my mothers friend had just made one similar. So I put just that in a blender. Kale, pineapple, ginger, coconut water, and ice. I didn’t measure, I just eyed it out. Don’t go too crazy with the kale, and put a teaspoon max of ginger. Mine wasn’t AMAZING, went a little too crazy with the ginger and kale. It would be really good with a little less, so I’ll leave it up to you guys.
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Some more common things I’ll have for breakfast are breakfast bowls or breakfast burgers.
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This is my common breakfast bowl. It’s about 1 cup of spinach. 2 Eggs, 2 Egg Whites. 4oz Italian Turkey Sausage. Not sure of the exact macros for this, but I’d guess around 400 calories, 25g fat, 50g protein.
And my favorite, breakfast burgers;
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I couldn’t choose just one picture of this deliciousness. This meal is about 5 oz Ground Turkey Meat (made into patties). 1 Egg, 1 Egg white. I put 2 oz of ham on this burger. I’ll typically have a side of sweet potato, or veggies, or fruit. Or all of the above…
And now, another breakfast pizza! I didn’t change much from the last one, just some tweaks here and there. Cook it thoroughly, flip it when it’s nearly cooked through. Let the other side cook for a bit but it won’t need long. So much flavor! It was amazing;
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5 oz Chicken Breast
2 Eggs
1/2 Cup Egg Whites
1 Cup Veggies (zucchini, skinned red pepper)
4 tbsp Homemade Guacamole (or 2oz Avocado)
Basil Leaves, Salt, and Pepper to taste
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450 Calories, 18 g fat, 9 carbs, 64 Protein
Adjust ingredients to fit your nutritional needs!

Homemade Everything

So your favorite foods have high fructose corn syrup, and sugar, and lskdjflksdjf and lskdjfsjd sldkjfkljd. Do you know what I’m saying?
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Sometimes it’s nice to know exactly what is going into your food…and sometimes it’s better not to know. And better to just avoid it. Now, ketchup and almond milk aren’t exactly the worst culprits in these long list of unpronounceable ingredients, but there is nothing wrong with a little homemade fun. My friend, Amy, turned me onto the home made ketchup idea. She missed ketchup, we missed ketchup, we made moves. They are unbelievably simple, and the ingredients is close to none.
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General Ingredients:
12 oz Tomato Paste
1.5 cup Water
2 tbsp Vineger
1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
1/2 tsp Onion Powder
1/4 tsp All Spice
All you do is combine the ingredients in a sauce pan, heat, and stir until smooth. Add salt if you aren’t watching your sodium. Or you could be a true Maryland citizen and add a ridiculous amount of old bay to your ketchup. There is no turning back, this will change the taste of your sweet potato fries for the better. I also made a cinnamon spiced ketchup. I didn’t measure for either of these flavors, I just poured and tasted until I thought it was acceptable. It doesn’t exactly taste like the sweet & smooth Heinz Ketchup, but to me it is close. No added sugar, syrup, nothing. It’s smooth, tasty, and stores well.

Next up, Homemade Almond Milk.
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General Ingredients:
1 cup Almonds (I bought skinless)
4 cups water (next time I’m gonna do a little less water)

On another recipe it says that you can add vanilla extract and prepared Irish moss (I don’t know what that is…) to thicken but for now I didn’t add anything. It tastes fine and will be great to help add substance to my smoothies. You can also freeze the milk into ice cube trays to add to smoothies. The jar on the left has added dark coco powder, unsweetened, and a few drops of liquid stevia.

Instructions:
1. Soak nuts in cold water. (2-6 hours, or overnight)
2. Place nuts & water in a blender and mix until smooth.
3. Pour mixture through strainer (or nut sack..RECOMENDED) and allow milk to drain into a bowl.
4. Rinse blender and return milk to it.
5. Add any other ingredient or flavoring, blend until smooth.

If You’re Going Through Hell, Keep Going

So we’ve all been there. We start a diet and don’t finish it. We try everything, slim fast, adkins, diet pills, and the ever so nauseating cottage cheese diet. (Why?) Well finally, people are catching on to the whole eat clean “fad”. And I hope this fad turns into a lifestyle for many people, until death do them part. Yoyo dieting, the reason why everyone fails. One week of a strict diet plan, whatever it may be, and then a weekend of cupcakes and pasta. “Because I deserve it” What exactly are we trying to accomplish here? I am completely down with the whole treating yourself concept, but I find it bizarre that we feel we need to reward ourselves with food.
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As if I’m not guilty of the feeling and craving to cheat on your diet, I simply find it hard to do. The diet starts and you’re motivated as anything. I mean, that’s why you started it in the first place isn’t it? Because you’re ready to change. Some people say the first week in is miserable. If it’s miserable, you haven’t mentally committed to your new lifestyle. You should be excited that first week. Trying out new foods, new healthy snack & dinner options. It’s fun. (or am I crazy?) You’re starting to feel detoxed and you’re finally noticing that you can do it. “Hey, this isn’t that bad” Now, I can’t blame you for feeling frustrated during say…week 2 or 3. That’s where I am right now. And speaking from experience, I hate this part. You haven’t cheated, you crave certain foods, and you wonder why you’re not at you’re goal weight yet. I’m such an idiot for having these thoughts, but I’m human, and we all, unfortunately, think this way. We have no patience. Therefore, I’m creating steps to get you through the days of hell that come with dieting. Dieting is a really personal experience. You get to know yourself more than you ever thought you could. You learn your emotions, trigger points, and methods for success. This post may get a little personal but, controlling your emotions is the first step to controlling your life. That is, if you have emotion.

Step One; Patience
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You have to remember that results don’t happen overnight. It doesn’t take one week of eating plain chicken and veggies to reach your goals. And it doesn’t take countless hours on the elliptical machine, with no change in diet, to get there either. Last night I was feeling anxious, and impatient. I was sitting and second guessing myself. Wondering if I was doing everything I could to get where I needed to be, and why I wasn’t there yet. My friend and fellow Crossfitter sent me a quote,

It takes 4 weeks for you to see your body changing, 8 weeks for your friends and family, and 12 weeks for the rest of the world. Keep Going.

When you run out of patience, it triggers a lot of emotion. You feel like you want to give in and raid your pantry. You wake up and lose motivation to get out there and workout. You look at yourself and see no difference, when really, the most important difference starts with inside. The first month is a huge test of mind over matter. You’re testing out how badly you want to change, and how badly you want to feel better. They say results are 80% diet and 20% exercise. I completely agree. Though, in my opinion, your results count more on your mentality than anything.

Step Two; Change your Thoughts
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I’m trying this new thing where I practice what I preach. I’m great at giving advice, but not so good at taking my own. I sometimes let my thoughts ruin my progress. Once I lose patience, my thoughts wander and my mind blows up. It moves a mile a minute and I typically want to give up. Recently I’ve trained my mind to stop thinking so negatively. When those thoughts pop up, I find many ways to distract and motivate myself (which will be talked about in the rest of the steps). If you’re feeling sluggish before a workout, take a breather and think about how good you’ll feel when it’s all over. Remember the feeling you get when you’re finished that run, and crave it.

Step Three; Breathe
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If you’re feeling anxious, defeated, or hungry; breathe. Those lungs we have? Use them, control them. Lay down on your bed and just calm the hell down. What is so different about yesterday, say, a day you were feeling great about yourself, than today? Nothing except your lack of patience and crazy thoughts. So, we covered patience and the importance of controlling our thoughts. Now to control the ever so effortless act of breathing. Not only does the act of breathing keep you alive…it calms you down. I’m trying to explain what it does to your brain but I’m not a neurologist so… what I’m trying to say is that it helps your brain come back to reality. Breathe in with your nose, out with your mouth, and remember where you were when you started. Whether you’re 20 pounds down, 2 pounds down, on mile 2, or nothing, you’re doing a whole lot more than you were before you decided to change your life.

Step Four; Embrace Yourself
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This is about to sound so corny but… if you feel like crap, try to reverse those feelings by reminding yourself how beautiful you are. Whether it’s in actions, or physically. Do something nice for someone. Surprise someone. But don’t forget about yourself. Here’s the weird part. I always had this little motto that I use, “Look good, feel good”. It’s not always the case with everyone, but it helps. If you really feel stressed from your new found lifestyle, put on a cute friggin outfit and go out to lunch or something. Take an obnoxious selfie. Take a picture of yourself in your sports bra. Or shorts, men. Don’t look at how far you have to go, look at how far you’ve come. And smile. Put on some makeup, if you’re into that. Try on some outfits, and think about how good you look, and how much better you’ll eventually look, and feel, if you keep going and fight off the craving to cheat. It sounds egotistical, and little high maintenance, but if you don’t think you’re awesome, no one else will. So…work it. Hair flip.

Step Five; Don’t Cheat
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A moment on the lips is forever on the hips. Haha, but really. You’re that much closer to reaching your goals. Is it all really worth it? Food is damn good, but being healthy and happy is a lot better. You can do anything for a week, but can you do it for a month? Two months? You’re a certified bad ass if you can do that. It’s tough work. Mentally, physically, and emotionally draining. But it’s worth it. Plus, you wouldn’t cheat on your boyfriend would you? So don’t cheat on your diet. Same concept. Each lead you to lonely nights with Ben and Jerry, once again.

Step Six; If You Can’t Eat It, Don’t Buy It
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There is no better idea to set yourself up for failure than to buy yourself unhealthy food for “later” or your “cheat meal”. Why the hell would you buy a pop tart, or ice cream, or a donut, if all you are gonna do is stare at it and dream about eating it? Hello, welcome to mid-diet torture. The only food you should keep around the house is the food that will make you better. There’s a time and a place for everything, and right now, nobody has time for Oreos that you’re saving to binge out on after you’ve lost five pounds. If it’s not around, you won’t eat it. If you have nothing unhealthy in your house to snack on, you won’t cheat. There is already enough temptation throughout everyday life, you don’t need to add it in the comfort of your own home.

Step Seven; Know Your Trigger Points
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Just because you’re dieting doesn’t mean you have to skip out on social interaction. If you’re friends are making a quick trip to McDonalds for lunch, or your favorite restaurant with your favorite greasy food, I’d say that there are times when you can choose not to go. Sometimes you can go for the experience, to hang out with your friends, but not eat. But sometimes it’s not worth hearing people beg you to eat or telling you that one piece of pizza won’t kill you. Sure, it won’t, but it won’t help you. Know your trigger points. Know what restaurants to avoid. If there’s places you know you’ll slip at, avoid them. Suggest healthier restaurants, suggest your friends eat lunch at home. Also, stop looking at yourself. If you look at yourself long enough, you’ll create flaws, gain ten pounds, and probably grow a mustache. I know I stated before that you should take selfies, smile at yourself, and make yourself feel beautiful, but don’t get carried away. Mirrors are trigger points, they will either make or break you, depending on how long you look at yourself. And if you look long enough, you might change your view of yourself just enough to break that mirror. That’s seven years bad luck, and not to mention, embarrassing. Another thing that can stress you out while dieting is certain clothes. Don’t go to a store and try on products that you know have never flattered you, and expect to miraculously look like a super model one week after your diet starts. The most frustrating thing is to try on clothes and have them not fit, or just generally make you look horrible. You’re gonna want to sprint straight to the food court and get yourself a happy meal, or better yet, some Chinese food.

Step Eight; Don’t Listen To Anyone But Yourself
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Your friends & family may not always be the best support system. You’re friends will tell you to skip the gym and go get pizza and beer, you’re family will wonder why you HAVE to workout. They will constantly ask you if you want seconds, if you want sweets, if you want this or that. They don’t understand that you have mentally committed to something, something that they may not be strong enough or willing to commit to. That’s completely fine with you, they don’t have to change their lifestyle, and they don’t necessarily have to support you. That’s what I mean when I say that this journey gives you the opportunity to really get to know ones self. You know how to say no, you know your trigger points, and you know what you want. And that’s change.

Last but not least, I’ll end this post with my absolute favorite pinterest find I stumbled upon awhile back.
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Stay strong and one day you’ll turn into somebody else’s motivation.

Calling Someone Fat Doesn’t Make You Skinny

So I’m sitting here watching MTV’s I Used to Be Fat. What a serious show. It’s emotional and inspiring. I see skinny betches tweeting about this show all the time…that’s when you know it’s raw. It’s grabbing emotion out of everyone, because we all have it. These overweight teenagers on this show are just like everyone else. They find themselves trapped inside a body that doesn’t reflect the person that they truly are. That’s why making fun of the “fat guy” is so common today. Their peers look at the fat, not the personality or emotion of the human being. And this starts at a young age. Not to mention, being fat is so common today. Calling someone fat doesn’t make you any skinnier. Yes, I’m quoting mean girls again, but what do you expect? It’s one of the truer statements in the world. What do you think happens when you call someone “fat” or “chubby” or better yet, the new “bulky”? It hits their emotions, and not in a good way. The problem with the obesity rate is that these people are not in control. And for starters, they aren’t in control of their emotions. Reason number one being, their peers control their emotions. They have let other people, including Ben & Jerry, control the outcome of their lives.
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If you call someone a fat ass all their life, eventually they will keep it in their brain that that’s all they are. I’ve been there once, as you know after reading my about me, I was fat. I thought it was out of my control, and there were times when I held anyone else besides myself accountable. I let any views of my peers control my emotions. Every day was uneasy. Sitting in a chair made me red in the face, and don’t even get me started about trying to walk in between the desks at school. I chose to sit on the outskirts of the classroom so my hips didn’t hit the desk, to prevent any asshole from snickering in their seat. I was larger than others. I couldn’t share a chair with my girlfriends, cross my legs all proper, or wrestle around with friends without feeling like the jolly green giant. Dominos and donuts at cheerleading practice did nothing for me, but I convinced myself that because everyone else was eating like that, I could. Any use of the word fat made me self-conscious, whether I was being talked about or not. Physically, I was fat. Mentally? I was fatter.
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Advertisements and media today are all marketing to a certain target market. The health food, exercise machines, and awesomely fast acting chemically enhanced fat blasting pills, are marketed towards those who are fat. They use certain words to make them stand out against all the other brands, and to make those who are fat, feel comfortable. Those people in charge of marketing are very tricky. They know how vulnerable the overweight people are. They know that America, personally, will do anything besides work really hard to be successful, and achieve their goals. We don’t need a gym, just a bunch of chemicals. You’ll be skinny for a few months then die of a heart attack from the combination of diet pills you’ve been using. So, not only do these advertisements physically set you up for failure, there is also marketing that will mentally set you up for failure. I’d post a million pictures of 90 pound models in every magazine, but we’ve seen those pictures a million times. We know how thin they are, we know how unhealthy they are, yet every girl in America still, at some point, wanted to look like them. “You will never look like the girl in the magazine, the girl in the magazine doesn’t look like the girl in the magazine.” Now, it’s not just fashion and magazines that show these crazy images of what the ideal women should look like. It’s turned into men’s products too. For example, the axe commercial that came on while I was watching “I Used to be Fat” on MTV.
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Women are getting hotter? Women are getting skinnier. Women are starving themselves because you want them to look like that hot girl on the right. Sure, those who are naturally thin like that, stay like that. But girls today go to EXTREMES to look as best as they can, and they are unfortunately never satisfied with themselves. Now, we have men looking at these pictures, wanting the perfectly skinny girl from the axe commercial. They know it’s impossible to ever meet her, so they go find the women who look as close as possible to her. This leaves all of us average sized women who work really damn hard with rerun episodes of Friends and extra large pizza’s after a night out at the bar. It also leaves you with this:
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It leaves girlfriends self conscious while their boyfriend is gawking at the hot girl in the ad. Am I supposed to look like that? No. Go eat a lara bar, and take a breather. I’m being dramatic, but really. Women, stop being so hard on yourselves. And men, don’t fall for the ads, not every girl is going to be as perfect as the models.
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The obesity rate in young children is another extreme topic. How are they supposed to know what’s healthy and what isn’t? And how do they know if they are fat or not? Oh don’t worry, they’ll know, because their classmates will tell them. If not then, one day. There are those that embrace their fat. That chubby funny guy in school? He’s popular. Kicks some ass on the football field (mostly because he has a lot of mass). Never gets picked on. If anything, he picks on himself. Which is a HUGE cover up for his insecurities. Side Note: I’m not trying to be rude, I’ve been there, I’m talking from experience, and I don’t hope to offend anyone. You have to admit, every high school has that guy. And I think it’s awesome that they can be happy with who they are, I just wish they knew how much happier they could be. Not to mention, healthier.
Willpower
I’ve been on both sides. Beating obesity, and juggling to maintain a healthy & happy weight while still having a life. It doesn’t matter how thin I get, how fit I get, or how healthy I am today, I will always have that inner fat girl inside of me. And I’m not talking about the amazing food pictures on pinterest and instagram that I gawk at on the regular. Everyone does that. I’m talking emotions. I still have a little bit of that fat girl inside me. I get self conscious, I’m a little socially awkward, and I find it hard to be myself in certain situations. There was even a time when I still sat down on a couch and wondered if I was taking up too much space. But I’ve moved past that feeling. I’m ten times more confident than I was when I was obese. Or am I?
The life that I live is completely different than it was in high school. I entered college as a normal girl. I wasn’t obese, I looked relatively average. I was confident with my new body, and felt comfortable in my clothes. Though, it was weird entering college not realizing that no one looks at me as the former fat girl. Now I’m just a girl, who’s a little too friendly, and a little attractive.
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I said a little. The friendliness I carry from my inner fat girl. I was fat so I couldn’t be a bitch. Not that I wanted to be. I was just always friendly. I think everyone deserves to be treated how I’d like to be treated, so I treat them well. But now that I wasn’t looked at as the obese girl, it led opportunity for me to be looked at as normal, happy go lucky, sometimes shy sometimes confident, bitch. As if I should be saying, “Finally! I’m a real girl! I’m a bitch!” Girls call each other bitches all the time. It’s probably because girls are all bitches in some form or another, but I sure as hell am no Regina George.
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So I get to school and meet a bunch of new people. I hear bitches calling bitches bitches left and right. And I’m sitting there like, “Damn, I guess I’m a bitch too”. If you’re quiet, you’re a bitch. If you’re loud, you’re a bitch. If you’re stylish, you’re a bitch. If you’re boring, skinny, enthusiastic, smart, dumb, you’re probably a bitch. Calling someone a bitch, makes you a bitch. Just sayin, betch.
So since I wasn’t down with being your average bitch, I continuously focused on my health and fitness. Working hard every day to get stronger in the gym, and fitter in the kitchen. I, like every other 20 year old, enjoy going out as well. I’ve found a balance between getting fergalicious (I constantly say the word fergalicious instead of the phrase working out…up in the gym just workin on my fitness. Am I right?) and getting a little shwastey at my local college bars. I’ve figured out who’s meant to be in my life, and who is just not worth it. Some people stick by your side for drinks, some people stick by your side for life. I like the ones who stick by my side for life, while also getting a few drinks along the way.
ahnew

High School Parties & Chicken

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Something you eat a LOT of on your typical healthy diet is chicken. And I’m not talkin chicken nuggets. Just like you, I sometimes wish chicken nuggets were a part of my every day life. Plain chicken gets boring. Chicken nuggets make you feel young again. Young as in the sense of drunken high school nights at Jenna’s house, with the main concern being that we had dinosaur chicken nuggets to eat after our “party” filled with stolen Absolute Vodka and Mikes Hard Lemonade from our parents. Nights that made me think it was funny to stick my head in a mailbox outside of the royal farms?
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Nights like New Years senior year. These nights made us think it would be funny to post pictures of our guy friends who wore elephant thongs at midnight, to only be found by our high school principle. I’m not sure if they were our friends anymore after that.
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But, 500 dinosaur chicken nuggets and a few stupid nights later we did in-fact graduate.
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And now I’m sitting on my computer trying to write a blog about chicken. Chicken has great protein, almost nonexistent fat, and decent calories. It’s the go-to for a quick healthy meal, and it is largely chosen over most meats. I recently discovered chicken thighs, and haven’t let myself turn back. Buuuut now I’ve been moving back to the usual chicken breasts. They pack a little more protein and are generally less expensive… You can also have more chicken breast for the same macro’s as a serving of chicken thighs offer. Not a bad switch.
In my opinion, chicken is boring. Yes, it’s delicious, but to eat it 2-3 times every damn day? No, nike, I will not just do it. That’s why people favor red meat so often, the flavor is already there. If you want a crazy good chicken dinner, it requires trying. And nobody has time for that. So we go with simple. Or at least I do. Little spices, oils, or herbs can go a LONG way with chicken. Eating plain chicken will eventually turn into eating cardboard. Nobody has time for that, either.
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Garlic & Basil Chicken Breasts
Yeah, that’s chicken in a bag. I didn’t get to capture this cooking process so that’s all you’re gonna get.
I put a pound of chicken in a zip lock bag. Added garlic olive oil. The garlic olive oil is a game changer. I chopped up some basil and put it all in a bag, mixed it up, and let it sit for about 15 minutes before I cooked it. Talk about a mouth watering smell, and a simple mouth watering lunch.

Next, Homemade Guacamole Stuffed Chicken Breast.
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Simple. One pound chicken breast, and 1-2 tbsp of homemade, or store bought, Guacamole. I’d recommend buying the thick chicken breasts. Slice your chicken in the middle as deep as you can without poking through. Measure your guacamole and stuff it in your sliced chicken. Fold the chicken back over. Cook for about 25 minutes on 400 degrees. Does that not look delicious? And it took almost zero effort. Fun times.
Something else I enjoy making is soup. Chop up some chicken, cook with salt and pepper. Chop up veggies of your choice. You can use your typical carrots, green beans, celery. Use organic (no salt added?) chicken broth. What’s pictured is this soup I made with gluten free noodles. You can leave out the noodles…but it’s whatever you’re into.
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And then you can simply add spices to your chicken. That’s self explanatory. Mrs. Dash is my go to. Garlic powder. Salt and pepper adds a kick, though that still gets a little plain after awhile. I’d start experimenting. That’s all I do. This simple lunch pictured at the beginning of this post could have turned out very boring. Instead, I added Mrs. Dash Italian seasoning and some meat tenderizer. On the sweet potato I added 1 tbsp of cashew butter and some raspberries. The broccoli, well, it’s just broccoli. There’s really not much you can do about that one. Sorry everyone.

Running on the Treadmill and Only Eating Salad

Oh Drake, you knew me so well. So I’m sure the first thing everyone thinks of when they hear the words “healthy” and “diet” are salads. Salad used to be my answer to everything. Did I eat a little too many calories that day? It’s fine, I’ll have a salad for dinner. First date? Salad. There’s nothing more funny than hearing someone say “I’ll have a salad”. I actually laugh at myself when I say the word salad. There’s something about it that sounds so…posh? Like… Clay Mathews just ordered a salad:
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Hairflip. And when you have salad for dinner, it can be a big salad. I’m talking a huge pool of lettuce. You’d have to try really hard to make a 200 calorie salad with just lettuce. How much salad can you eat before you get stuffed?
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Go ahead, ladies. Gorge yourself on some leaves. Right. I mean, what else is as low calorie as 4 cups of mixed greens? Besides celery. Don’t even get me started on celery. I’m pretty sure people still think that if they eat celery with peanut butter, the celery will lower the calories of peanut butter. So it’s like you’re eating nothing, right? True, girl, true.
I’m not sure why I’m picking on salads in the first place…maybe it’s because I ate them consistently for four years and I became tired of it. I’d literally run on the treadmill for awhile, come home, and eat a salad. For lunch, for dinner, maybe even for dessert. You aren’t getting nearly enough nutrients that way. I think I slightly remember being hungry a lot more often. I also have a new view of food. Now I see how nutritionally dense my romaine salads with little vegetables and sugar filled dressings were. A lot of people just pour some light ranch on their salad, load it with croutons, some cheese, and call it a day. But it’s a salad…? Nope…No. That’s not a salad, that’s a warzone.
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Right there with ya, gramps. I’d say the perfect salad has a decent amount of veggies on them. Broccoli, peppers, onions, carrots, zucchini, cauliflower, mushrooms, I’m gonna stop now. Pay close attention to the ingredients (sugar!) in your salad dressings. There is a good amount of dressings sold at natural markets that are in the safe zone, but I would personally stick with olive oil, balsamic, salt and pepper. A little plain, but fresh, and good for you. Add anywhere from 4-8 ounces of meat, depending on your nutritional needs. Protein. A salad without protein is a wasted meal. If you don’t like meat, add a hard boiled egg. If you don’t like eggs, I don’t know what else to tell you. Just don’t add soy. (I recently learned all the shitty things about soy, thanks to CF Syndicate’s blog)
So I’ve been going through this phase where I haven’t been eating salads. I haven’t tried not too, I just haven’t wanted one. With my previous digestive issues, a lot of leafy greens were not agreeing with my stomach, but that has calmed down now. Which led me to todays salad. Which also led me to todays salad dressing. I stated before that you should use olive oil as a dressing, but that does get so ridiculously boring after awhile. Your lettuce leaves actually start to taste like leaves. You need variety. It’s human, it’s fine. Let’s add some variety.
My New & Improved Salad Dressing:
6 tablespoons Olive Oil
5 teaspoons balsamic vinigeretee
5 teaspoons raw coconut milk
Do your thing with these last three:
About 5 “sprinkles” of Mrs. Dash Italian Blend
Sprinkle of Salt
Sprinkle of Pepper

Makes about 5-6 servings
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So it’s nothing fancy. But it was so delicious. I put a tablespoon of my salad dressing on my salad today, and I was very happy. Now I know I said to add a lot of veggies to your salad but, today I didn’t. I’m supposed to start slow with all the raw roughage.
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My salad was 4 cups of mixed spring greens, 5 oz Chicken Breast, 1 Hard Boiled Egg, 2 Small Tomatos, and the Dressing. I also had 3 oz sweet potato on the side. We’re front squatting today. Carb me.