I first found my love of fitness through running. Actually, no. I first found my hatred of fitness through running. I hated running, but it was because I “couldn’t” do it. Those one mile turkey trots in elementary school were my least favorite thing about the holidays. I finished last every year, and faked sick another year because I was tired of finishing last. It took me 13 minutes to run that mile, while the athletic kids finished in about 6 minutes. I will always remember how cool I thought everyone was that finished that quickly. It was awesome and intimidating, and I felt embarrassed every year. I do remember that good feeling when it was over though. That sense of relief and accomplishment, there is no better feeling.
It’s weird to think back and remember that, besides feeling embarrassed, I secretly felt accomplished. (Not to mention I was more than relieved that it was over.) Why didn’t I hold onto that feeling? I could have reversed my whole predicament, which was becoming obese, if I just kept searching for that feeling. But then I wonder who I would have been today. Would I have become a high school athlete, a college athlete? Maybe I wouldn’t have been a cheerleader. Maybe I’d have a kick ass body and buns of steel. Maybe I would have started high school and dated the quarterback who eventually made it to the NFL and we would be this crazy athletic power couple. (living on a prayer) Maybe, with an athletic background, I would have been driven enough to receive straight A’s. All that I know is that things would have been a lot easier for me. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. But looking back, I wouldn’t want that. I’m glad that I had to “suffer”, though, I never truly felt like I was suffering, I just enjoy being dramatic. I guess it was the most peaceful way to suffer. I had no idea what I had inside me, I didn’t know what I was doing wrong, I didn’t want to believe that I needed to lose weight, so I peacefully fled through life, happy as a clam, but suffering. My strength, willpower, and motivation surprises me sometimes. To be so bold, I have something that many people don’t have. I taught myself to stay strong and to not give up. I taught myself how to be consistent, how to be healthy. I taught myself how to breathe without hyperventilating (take that anxiety). Breathing is the most important part. You are one deep breath away from a good mood, a smile, a new day. When I started running, breathing was the hardest part. Running took my breath away, and I fell in love.
This. This Quote.
I want this quote tattooed on my face. (But I’d never do that. That’d be weird.) I watched this video a year or so ago and it really inspired me, I wanted to go run a marathon or rep out a million 200# dead lifts or something.
“The obsession with running is really an obsession with the potential for more and more life” -George Sheehan
I Am Thankful for Running Because…
1. of the Sweat. I sweat no matter what form of exercise I’m doing, but a long sweaty run is the most rejuvenating. You’re sweating for anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. Thats a LOT of sweat. Everyone feels better after a run, so I like to think of my sweat as a symbol for washing away all the negative worries or stressful situations I have building up in my head.
2. of the post-run high.
3. it makes my mind and body come together.
4. It’s my therapy. When I run, I’m in the zone. I do a lot of my thinking when I run. I probably make most of my decisions during a run, a long with coming up with most of my ideas. Ideas that will inspire myself, a long with the few who read my blog. My thoughts are powerful during a run. Yes, I have my days where all I’m thinking is “I don’t want to do this”, but there are a few ways I talk myself into finishing what I started. You have to constantly yell positive things at yourself. Yes, in your head, yell at yourself. Tell yourself to keep going. Tell yourself you can.
5. it clears my head.
6. it is time alone with myself.
7. it hurts so good.
8. It challenges me. You are facing defeat every time you set out for a run. Each step is a milestone, and the first few are the hardest part. I started out hating running. It’s the beginning so it’s challenging. It’s challenging because it sucks. It sucks because its working.
9. it makes me appreciate my body.
10. it keeps me pushing for more. More miles, more speed, more life.
11. it allows me to observe. Whether it’s people watching at the gym or in the park (I love people watching).
12. Legs. I’d like to give a shoutout to my legs, for a couple of reasons. One, for existing. Some people don’t have legs, and they still do far more bad ass things than me. I am thankful for doing slightly bad ass things with my real legs. For always putting up with my drive. For listening to my brain and not the pain I may feel on mile 6 of a 10 miler. I’d also like to give a shoutout to my legs for being the two most stubborn assholes I’ve ever met. But with running, they are only slight assholes. I have legs, big ones, large thighs, huge trunks, whatever you wanna call them. I love the way my legs start to look when I’m consistent in my runs. Yeah, I lift now, so they’ve doubled in size for all the right reasons. It doesn’t mean they still can’t be beautiful, and beautiful they will be.